Posted by
Uneducated Homeschooler on Thursday, September 07, 2006 7:43:30 PM
It was great on the roadtrip I was on recently I was able to listen to
several lectures from the camp that I had attended earlier that Spring.
One I listened to that I had not heard previously however was a speech
by Eric and Lesley Ludy, the authors of "When God Writes Your Love
Story." Now in this particular lecture, actually in a seperate one they
gave what they called "The Secret to Winning a Girl's Heart." Yes, you
could hear the guys go for their pens on the recording. And they said
it was tenderness, and presented a rather convincing argument why.
And
I was like, "Well, now the guys are happy." but I was rather sure that
we only knew half of the story. Because now the guys had everything
they needed to know, but the girls were still out of luck. So I am
going to do my best to express what it is that makes a guy really tick.
We guys are not quite as confusing as girls are. Just is the case, in
fact, we actually make it pretty obvious because we have the thing we
carry around called "ego." Which makes it pretty simple to figure out
really. The whole point of ego is that we want someone to be proud of
us. And that is the secret, nothing is so powerful as a guy with a girl
behind him who is proud of him.
In fact, that whole "Behind every
great man is a great woman." Is not an unreasonable statement. Because
a guy will perform better when he knows someone is proud of him. I
actually was sort of thinking about this talking to a friend of mine
recently about a snowboarding incident. We were talking about a
situation in which a guy offered to go snowboarding with her and she
accepted. However, it was not until they were on the lift that he said
"Oh, by the way, we are going down a black diamond!" Now, this friend
of mine was an "eager to learn but novice snowboarder still very
friendly with the bunnyslope."
Needless to say when she found this
out she was not thrilled. It took them an hour and a half and she fell
countless times. Every time she would fall he would go flying by and do
some sort of trick off a mougle. While he was not the best snowboarder
I know he was certainly decent. You could tell that what he wanted to
do was impress my friend. He wanted so badly for her to be proud of him.
Of
course, he lost that opportunity because he did not get the whole
lesson in tenderness part of the story. But what he was looking for was
really an obvious example of what everyone of the male gender is
looking for. He wanted to know that someone else, particularly a girl
and his peer, was proud of him.
Now he did not succeed because he
did not understand what it was that would impress this friend, and also
because he was not careful to protect her which is critically
important. It is my experience that a girl is only going to be proud of
a guy she feels safe and protected around. But, while to a certain
point, in order to feel the way he'd like to feel a guy has to earn it.
At the same time to have someone behind him, supporting him, moving him
on is one of the most powerful energies there can be in his life.
And
I think that is the secret, guys need to get the whole tenderness
thing, because if that is not there they are not going to get the
respect and support of anyone worth caring about. Girls need to
understand that what the guy wants is for someone to be proud of them,
to respect them, to back them. I suppose I could also sit here and tell
you what does not work, but I think that the biggest thing to know is
what does.
I find it humorous that this is actually why flattery
works, because even if a guy knows that it has utterly no meaning
behind it, if someone ACTS proud of him he is then proud. That is the
power of of being proud of someone, and it is also in my opinion what
is one of the biggest things someone can give a guy. To let him know
that he is worthwhile and meaningful and great, and that is something
that can make great things happen.
Pride can destroy, or pride can be a great weapon for good. And you can get to use it if you want.
The Uneducated Homeschooler